Recent Entries

I have the right to my experience, even if it differs from that of others...

I have no obligation to what the people of my past think of me.
DBT has been helpful.
I have the feeling of pressure around me- around my head.
When I take a deep breath, it settles a bit.
Meditation helps me drain the distractions and pain.

Entry tags:

music

and still consuming...

"You have loved
You were not alone
You have braved the weather
When the storm cut you to the bone
There was always shelter

My secret friend
I'll take you to the river
My secret friend
So we can swim forever

In your skin
To die a little death
This time there's no code word
When every day frays in hollow ends
Dream sweet love submersive

Break my deepest promise"

i've never wondered before

I cant but wonder and laugh sometimes at the question- will you ever find me? your grip tighted around my neck until i learned new ways to breathe.
even if you find me, you can never have me again
and that is where i laugh.
control control, asserted to no meaningful end.

nice vibe

a lot of good done today. smoked a mix of different herbs and packed several totes. i ate consistently. and i excersized. i'm feeling pretty good about myself. i want to dance more again, more freely. i want to make costume and fursuit parts again, but i enjoy this existence, presently, as it is, until come a time we can create such things again. i look forward to it. i want to make. i need to open up and fvx around with the music program we've got... Perhaps tonight. Tomorrow if not tonight. but now, i feel motivated. so perhaps i'll look over it, at least.

Entry tags:

journal

posting posting posting

new website, new post, new thing to do. im listening to music, im downloading some games. i should go inside to take care of the plant grow soon. sure, sure, all recent things, all reasonable things. no longer a reason to fear for our safety or health. strange to find safety after a lifetime without, but i accept it, and feel a lifetime of weight slowly slink away from me. ive never felt so at peace as this before.